Ack!

I missed three blogging days again! Bleh, I hate that. But, it wasn't just because I 'didn't do it'. I've been busy, as I know everyone has, with the holidays and family things going on recently. I need to learn to balance those things with my life of submission better. It kind of seems to me like I am having trouble integrating the two, when they really shouldn't be so separate. Since my family has no clue about my lifestyle choices sometimes it is very difficult for me to do things that I know I should be and need to be doing for myself and for Mistress and our relationship. It feels like I either am totally focused on my family and leave out a big chunk of my submission things, or I am entirely focused on my submission and leave my family on the back burner. Is there a happy medium? If anyone out there even reads my blog and you have thoughts on this, I'd love to hear from you! And any tips or anything you might have on finding that balance.

My life with my family has been a little bit topsy-turvy of late and I'm ready for a change. I also still need to find a second job and very soon. Like, yesterday! I don't like the stress I've been feeling lately and I feel like if I could just get the change that I so desperately need, the stress would be at a bare minimum once again. But it will be months, six or so, before that happens.

I also am worried about getting the winter blues. For the past several years, since my mom passed away, every winter is incredibly difficult for me and it's a struggle each year not to sink into a pretty deep depression. Last years was very bad, one of the worst and had it not been for Mistress I am not sure I would have got out of it when I did. I think I've touched on this a little in another post or two, but last year I pulled away from everyone and everything. It wasn't until Mistress (who wasn't my Mistress at the time, but a very close and good Dominant friend) came to me and got in my face to tell me how much she loves and cares about me, that others do as well, and I needed to pull my head out of my ass. Not her exact words, but that's the jist of what she meant. And it worked. Not right away, but it slowly did what she wanted it to do. So I'm more conscious that this happens to me in the winter and am hoping to avoid it this year. Keep your fingers crossed for me!