Just the way of life

So, Mistress is still under the weather and I seem to be doing better with each day. I just wish there were something I could do for Her. Hopefully, She'll be back on Her feet in the next day or so. *Crosses fingers for that*

Not a lot to really blog about since Monday. I worked all day yesterday and today I've been busy with my schedule'd tasks for the day. Mainly cleaning things around the house and getting laundry taken care of. The normal, every day life type of things. Of course, today is the day that I'm suppose to masturbate for an hour, but I wasn't able to do that. Actually, I haven't been able to do any of the scheduled times for that the past week and a half now, for reasons that I won't go into here, but I'm starting to really be annoyed that I can't. I've never been big on masturbating, until Mistress put it into my schedule and now I've grown to love it, so now I miss it! And I want it back. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue before my next scheduled time. I think I need it.

Oh, I'm hoping to shampoo some carpets here over the weekend. There is still a lot of deep cleaning needing to be done, and I'm working on that. I think, though, that if I get the carpets shampood and steam-cleaned then I'll have even more desire to get to the nitty-gritty in every room of the house.

Yeah, alright, so that's not really something you'd find in most submissive blogs, right? But not everything a submissive does is fun or about sex and play time either. They still have every day life things to do just like everybody else. And that just happens to be part of mine. It's just part of being human.

Missed Blogging

So, I missed blogging all last week because I was incredibly busy with things dealing with my job and some family things that I needed to get taken care of. It actually feels odd not to have blogged last week, and I have this feeling of "being behind". It's really kind of strange.

And, if we're being totally honest. I don't feel like blogging right now - at least physically I don't. I've been sick since last Thursday and still am not feeling up to par. I really just feel like crawling back under the sheets, but I can't do that. I have to work tomorrow, no matter what, so I'm trying to get myself up a little more today so hopefully I'll have enough energy to make it through tomorrow. Plus, I don't like missing my blog time. When I don't blog, I feel like I'm throwing my entire week out of whack, and I guess in a way I am.

Anyhow, that is not the purpose of this blog and I know it. Technically though, there isn't all that much to say about my submission right now. Mistress has been busy with her family as well as being ill, but we've still managed to have some time together, which is nice. I just worry about her and wish she would rest. (And I do know She feels the same about me.)

Oh I know something that I've been thinking about lately. How since I came back from my vacation from submission, everything has been much calmer. Not just within my relationship with Mistress, but pretty much in all aspects of my life. There are stresses, sure, but I find that I'm approaching them with a clearer head and not just flying off the handle when the situation doesn't warrant it. I feel like that is in large part due to the fact that I am still thinking about the things I'm grateful for daily and also because Mistress helped me see things in a different light than I did before. Basically, I'm just taking every day as it comes and not worrying too much about tomorrow or next week, or even next month. And Goddess knows I am a huge worrier, so that is a feat in itself! :) Yay me!

I believe that my trust in Mistress has increased greatly as well. And really a part of me hates to admit that, because I always thought that I already trusted her implicitly, but apparently I was only deceiving myself. Mistress knew all along that I didn't have complete and total trust in Her, I just didn't see it. Now I see that. And while I'd love to say that I do not trust Her with absolutely everything, I am leery of saying that now because whose to say that tomorrow something might prove that wrong? All I can say is that my trust has increased, and because of that I feel like Mistress' trust me has improved as well - though She hasn't told me that, so I can't say for certain.

We're on the right track. I can feel it, and it's exciting!

A Little Homework

Once again, I'm not entirely sure what to write about. It bugs me when I don't have all that much to say here because I feel like this is such an important part of my journey. I know it doesn't really matter how long my entries here are, not really, but still it bothers me at times.

Anyhow, Mistress gave me a new homework assignment, and that was to rewrite my schedule how I felt it would fit me best with the changes that have taken place in my life. It's due to Her today by 5pm, and I already sent it by email. I didn't change much from the schedule She had given me, but there were a few things I rearranged. I'm curious to find out what She will think about the changes I made. As soon as She adds in some other things and approves it all then I'll post the new schedule here for all to see.

Oh, Mistress and I did have a very good conversation a few days ago about all the lessons I've learned in the past few months and how I feel about my mantra (which I might eventually post here). I was able to express to Her how I feel like She has helped me finally come to love myself for who and what I am. To love me exactly where I'm at in life and not degrade myself for the things that I've not yet done, or the mistakes I've made. That's a huge thing for me. I don't think my writing here really reflects just how badly I used to think of myself. I think a large part of that is because I didn't really believe it was as bad as it was, until I stopped doing it. Mistress really has taught me so much. :)

And, really, apart from that, not a whole lot has been going on that I can write about here. Our r/t's have kept us both very busy of late and I'm not sure that I see it letting up any time soon, though one can hope. I'm just happy that, well, I'm happy. *laughs*

Should Rules Be Ignored?

I actually am not at all sure what to write about today. Not a whole lot has been going on since I blogged last Wednesday. I've spent a lot of time with my family and preparing things for work and Mistress has been busy with her family as well. I know it will be like this a lot in the coming weeks and possibly months because of the holidays and such. But the time that I have had with my Mistress has been great. It's been relaxing and just us talking about various things. I think we need those times just as much as any other, more intense times that we have together. We're balanced and I'm so glad for that.

So, I've thought about something recently and thought maybe I should write about here. It has nothing to do with my relationship with Mistress and Sir, but something I've observed in some other lifestyle relationships and I'm just curious about it.

I've watched many dominants and submissives entering into new relationships together and they agree on the outset about rules and such that the submissive will have through the relationship. Then as they progress through their time together, the submissive will break one of the rules and even though the dominant most likely realizes this, they do nothing about it. No punishment, no outward acknowledgment of it.

I just wonder at the wisdom, or lack thereof, in this. How does it affect the relationship?

It could be that the dominant is waiting to see if the submissive will come to them and say that they broke a rule, or that the submissive is waiting and hoping that the dominant didn't notice and therefor won't punish him/her. It could be any number of things, right?

I, personally, would not wish to be in a relationship like that. Just not my cup of tea. I need to know that no matter what the rules are the rules and aren't to be broken, and if they are then there will be consequences for it. I need those clear boundaries.

Anyone out there have any comments about any of this? I'm curious to hear what others might think.