Honesty is the best policy

Another Thursday Question

Do you have a rule about lying? Explain how honesty and transparency are alike or different in your relationship? What is the most difficult thing you have had to be honest about?

Yes, Mistress and I have a rule about lying. It's called "NO lying!" Not on either of our parts. We both feel very strongly about this and believe that lying causing rifts in relationships that shouldn't be there, or wouldn't be there had the people involved been honest and upfront the entire time. Without good communication in our relationship, we would be doomed, I'm sure. But we both know just how important it is and we strive daily to keep our lines of communication open. I believe that if I can't be honest with Mistress, then there is no point in even trying to submit to her. It would be a lie, and there would be no trust there. It would be fake. And not at all what I wish for our relationship to be.

Honesty and transparency are basically the same thing within our relationship. To be transparent means to not hide anything, to be clear and open to others. And if you're being honest, then you're being transparent. I don't hide anything from Mistress, nothing at all. If I'm upset over something, anything, even if it has nothing to do with us, she knows about it. Same with her. If we're happy about something, the other knows about it. A lot of our relationship is based on talking and filling one another in on what is going on inside ourselves. It's how we've managed to get as close as we are and remain that way for so long. It started out like that when we were just friends and only deepened the further we went into our relationship.

Now, as far as what has been the most difficult thing for me to be honest about. Wow. I'd have to say that it's extremely difficult for me to ask for help, no matter what the problem is that I am struggling with, I hate to ask for help, because I've been trained (because of my past) to believe that asking for help means that I'm weak and that I've failed. Mistress has worked had to try and erase that thinking from my mind and while I'd love to say that it's entirely gone, I don't feel that it would be honest to say that, when I'm really unsure about that. I do know that I've grown in this area, and have been able to swallow back my feelings about it a few times to ask for her help, or the help of another. But I can't say with certainty that I would be able to do that all the time, no matter what. I've grown though, and to me, that is what truly matters.

I just feel as though, if I weren't honest with Mistress at all times then I would basically be slapping her in the face and telling her that I don't trust her, nor respect her. Just the thought of that makes me cringe! I can't imagine every treating Mistress like that, so why would I do it by being dishonest?