Observations and questions

Well, let's see. I've started my new job and so far it's been wonderful. A few bumps to get over here and there, but nothing that I can't handle. I've been so tired since starting though. Even though I am only working two days a week, I'm wiped out the other days as well and find myself falling asleep much earlier than what I'm used to.

Normally, that wouldn't be a huge issue, and in a way it's not. But it makes time that I get with my Mistress much less than it was before. So while I miss the time that we were able to spend before, I have realized that I'm much more grateful for the time that we do have. I think I took it for granted quite a bit before I started working. Not exactly a very submissive thing, right? I must say that my Mistress has been absolutely wonderful through it all and I'm so happy to be with her. She's listened to my stories about work and been a constant encouragement to me through everything.

In fact, we were talking two nights ago about some past relationships that I've been in and how things went in them. (She knows most of the people I've been with before, all but one of them, because as I've said before we were friends for years before we ended up switching gears and embarking on this relationship together.) One of the things that I brought up to her was how with others in my past, I would just give in and do whatever they wanted and in doing that I would lose myself and what I believe in. She watched all this happen to me and was often the one that helped me get back to who I am. And now I'm with her and I believe that I will not ever lose myself with her as I have before. She even pointed out to me that I've stood up to her with a few things (regarding my hard limits) already. This makes me feel good, because now I know that I can stand up for myself and still be submissive.

I'm just curious if others out there believe that a submissive should change who they are and what they believe in or don't believe in just to please their owners? Obviously my opinion is that it should not happen. We all have things that we like and don't like. And we all have morals and every persons morals are somewhat different from the next persons. I don't think it's right to give up those things just to make someone else happy. I think we have to always be "with it" enough to realize when we are beginning to compromise our own morals and take a step back, talk to our owner's about it and determine together how to keep ourselves in all of this. I think this also goes into becoming dependent upon our owner's which my Mistress knows is my biggest fear in these kinds of relationships. And it's also something that she refuses to allow to happen within our relationship. Another thing I'm thankful to her for.

Anyhow, if anyone has any opinions on this, I'd love to hear it.