Ch-ch-ch-changes

So many things are changing right now. Some of the changes in my life aren't part of my relationship with my Mistress and Sir, but they do affect it. To begin with, I got a part time job, two days a week which I'm totally excited about. I'm still looking for another job because I need something more. But even just having the part time one has lifted my spirits immensely.

I've also been doing well with not saying negative things about myself. Or at least, I believe that I have. I've been happier lately too and as I said in my last post, I believe it's because when you say positive things you end up believing it and feeling it. It's a nice change.

The biggest change of all, though, is very much with my relationship with Mistress. We've been friends for years and just developed our Mistress/submissive relationship naturally. The thing is though, we kept our friendship status as well. And recently, we had a conversation that was difficult for both of us because we were trying to figure out where we stood. I was bouncing between being her friend and being her submissive and she was struggling to figure out if she needed to speak to me as my friend, or my Mistress. When we talked about it later, it was decided by my Mistress that we don't need the friendship nearly as much as we need the other aspect of our relationship. Therefor, my Mistress is no longer my friend. She is strictly my owner, my Mistress. I'm not entirely sure what all will change because of this, but I do know it's needed. We couldn't continue to struggle between friends and something more and much deeper. It was only holding us back.

In a way, it's a bit scary to me. I trust my Mistress with my entire being and always will, so I know it will all work out. It's just that it's new and a little bit frightening. It's suppose to be though, right? I think if there wasn't some level of fear, I wouldn't have that intense desire to work even harder to get things accomplished. I wouldn't put 110% into my service, which is what I always try to do. I think it's a healthy fear.

The thing that hasn't changed and never will, is that my Mistress loves me and wishes for me to the very best that I can be in all ways, not just within my submission, but in my professional life and life outside of our relationship. And my love for her also hasn't and won't change. Those are the constants in our relationship, no matter what changes with us, we both know that the love we share will always be present. And I believe that my love for her has grown quite a bit more even just within the last week. I think part of that is because of the changes and that my respect for her has increased. I also think it's in part because she doesn't let me slide on the things she wishes for me to do. If I don't do them, there are consequences. This is a new concept for me, because in every other relationship I've been in before this one, I was never held accountable like I am with my Mistress. If I didn't do something I was told to do before, it was just overlooked. My Mistress doesn't overlook those things and I am so thankful to her for that. It proves to me that she doesn't just tell me to do things to keep me busy, but that there are very real reasons for the things she wishes for me to do. It also proves to me just how much she cares about me and my well-being.

That's all the changes I can think of right now, but I know there will be more coming. I've already been warned about that. :) So as soon as I find out what they are, I'm sure I'll write about those as well.